Familiar Old Dirt Road

It’s hard to believe that time has found me stuck on the side of this familiar dirt road, sitting on my suitcase, stuffed full of dirty laundry and makeup. I am grimy and travel-weary. One year later, I am nowhere. I have been sitting on this suitcase, tucking back in the tiny bits of fabric that find their way out to be seen. No unpacking ever happens. No sorting of this laundry; never washing or refolding.  Only stuffing and tucking in takes place here. I wonder where I was going. If I remember correctly, it was a beautiful, brilliant place that I chose to visit. Oh well, I guess I never made it off this old dirt and loose gravel road. I can taste the grit in my teeth and the dirt in my eye is irritating. Sometimes I imagine a clean, cool diner where I can get off this road to sit and listen to some good music. I can hear ,in my imagination, the songs that inspire me to tap my red high heels on a glossy floor. I always wanted to be in a real diner, with a soda fountain and a cute car hop rollerskating around to a catchy tune. Maybe some gorgeous hunk would grab me for a spin in the center of the room, tap the jukebox and take my breath away as we dance. I smile just thinking about the squeaky clean dream and the happiness of  food and dancing. But reality is persistent and I find myself bare-footed, dress piled up on my dirty knees, sweating through my panties and bra on this damned dirt road to nowhere.  Somehow I am stuck. I hate stuck. I hate dirt. I wish you would come by and put my suitcase in your trunk.  Then you could take off my dirty dress and my panties that are sticking to me like old glue. You could lift me up and put me down in a bath tub. That would be like a slice of Heaven to be naked in a cool bubble bath with you fixing me a cold glass of coca-cola. Heaven on Earth for a girl stranded in the steamy sun on a dirt road I have been walking for 20 years…going nowhere, as you would have it.

This entry was posted in advice, Bad Break Up, break up, choices, Con Men, confessions, Dating, Decisions, feelings, insight, Life, Love, Men, Regret, Relationships, sadness, stuck and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Familiar Old Dirt Road

  1. Wow, this is so beautifully written and feels like poetry. While I can never turn away and stop reading anything you write, this pulled me in even more than normal. Love it…
    Much love to ya!

    • Thank you so much baby! It means so much coming from you. This is different. It’s probably more like the writing I do for myself and (in the past) for friends to read. I call it free verse because it is my own creation: a mix of poetry and essay. I am glad you like it 🙂 Love you too xo

  2. Nice to hear from you again – was away for a couple of weeks myself – sunburned to death but hey ho, there you go!

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