Dating Site Relapse!

They’re telling me to go to rehab….

I said….Ok, good idea.

Y’all, I have had a dating site relapse! I am waking up with the kind of hangover where you smell vomit somewhere in your room…look for it and can’t find it…then crawl back into bed only to discover it’s in your hair. Don’t judge. You know what I am talking about!

I have dated so many goobers, nerds, losers, him-whores and crazies to fill an entire smoky bar. I think it is probably the stress from watching my entire career disintegrate. Preceded by the disintegration of my ten-year marriage and dissolution of my family’s  and friends’ obligation to care. I am at rock bottom: face-down, one-eye- open, smelling-the-vomit-in my- hair and crying- my-eyes-out rock bottom. (Whew! That was intense!)

I have the bitter after taste in my mouth of too many men groping, kissing and  touching me, rejecting and insulting my intelligence. I am EXHAUSTED. I can’t go back and I can’t seem to get out of the mud. I hate “stuck”…it’s such an ugly place to be. I can’t seem to find that tipping point that leads me to stop the crazy dating. I am so alone, it’s like any company, however strange and bizarre, is better than none. I sound pathetic, but I am not exaggerating. Something occurred in my life 2 years ago that keeps me on the outskirts of life. I am in the same routine, but like a ghost walking the steps of what I used to do. I do not understand why people think that divorce means abandon ship! How can you call yourself a friend when you are disinterested in how a person is doing. A person who carried you at times you couldn’t walk.  Anyway, I am focusing on forgiveness there, but even forgiveness doesn’t change the fact that I am alone. I am not afraid of myself. I am not afraid of being alone. I am afraid that I am always energy-out with no energy-in refueling my spirit and mind.

This entry was posted in advice, choices, Con Men, confessions, Dating, Dating Sites, Decisions, Divorce, drinking, feelings, girls, Humor, insight, laughter, Life, Men, party, Psychology, Regret, Running, Sarcasm, sex and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Dating Site Relapse!

  1. Your dating site binge was like that of a starving man having a freezer full of ice cream opened up to take all he wants, whenever he wants, with predictable results. The vomit in hair image is apt. I really hope you take away from it a lesson in life.

  2. Hmm, I don’t know much what to say here, but looking from the outside I really think you do need the break from all of that. You have to do it wholeheartedly though, I think, and be confident of not needing dates or whatever.
    Hope you feel better soon!

    • LOL thanx baby. I think dating is a distraction for me from the reality of my life. Not all parts are bad, but I am running from dealing with the heartbreak of the past few years. Thanx for reading xoxo

  3. snarkysnatch says:

    OMG! I love those photos with this piece!! I don’t know why I missed them before.

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