I have finally reached the end of the man candy road. I can’t take anymore. Not one single more first meeting, filled with fake interest in what I think or feel. Can’t take another false hope or future faker. I am sure that somewhere in this mix of ridiculosity, I am partially at fault. There is no way that one girl could attract so many personality-disordered men without some sort of secret beacon sending out the message: “I am here and willing to tolerate the absurd.” Today was the very end of that era. I took down my dating site profile and have resolved to work on myself.
Have you ever noticed that life imitates those “coming of age” movies? It’s like you look back and some of what you planned is exactly where you are, but so much is not at all what you dreamed of. I want my dream. I want a man that loves my strengths, tolerates my weaknesses and brings out the best in me. A man who allows me to get close and see him for who he is and was and will be. I want the dream I bought into when I married a man who cost me everything. I have lost my entire family, all of my friends, my reputation, my health and my career. Thank God I have my children and my online friends.