I didn’t want to post a negative post. I think that says it all. I am anonymously blogging and still feel the pressure to be pleasant. I had a terrible, no-good, awful day at work yesterday. I got written up for a lot of unfounded things. I was devastated. I don’t know if it was the fact that the things were so skewed to serve their purpose or if there is never a word of praise to counter balance that onslaught of criticism. Whatever it was, it made me fall apart.
I feel alone. Completely alone in the adult world. The men I go out with don’t last long because they are too busy for me. Maybe they are too busy lying, cheating or focusing on their own joy. I AM TIRED. There is no sleep long enough to re-energize me. I need kindness and love. My friends are superficially friends, my family has all turned against me. My babies are the only people who are here with me. I fear that my sadness is causing them pain. Whenever I feel this way I like to think of what I am thankful for:
My beautiful, brilliant baby boys.
My coworkers who are my inspiration every day.
A rainbow after the rain.
Music, Music, Music. And the fact that for this moment I can hear it..how long that will be the case I don’t know.
All of you who share a piece of your heart and spirit with me.