Delicious Delights

I feel like a Cole Porter song. 

Singing, shimmying, swaying, smiling.

The Man parade this weekend was bizarre at best, but also good.  We had Friday night which included Mr. Phone Man, who I cancelled out on Thursday. He didn’t text and didn’t call except one time in 3 days and it wasn’t a complete sentence. “Band Practice now”. Huh?! Is it an order, a warning, or a statement? Who knows, who knew, who cares?  I texted him and told him to keep on practicing.

Dr Dolittle (aka Dr. Sporty) flaked out, so I blocked him. And we had a strange contender for flake of the week: A guy we will call Braggy, asked me out. I told him all I had available was lunch Saturday. On Staurday he asked if we could meet at noon, then texted asking to meet at 3, then texted asking to meet at 7 PM. I replied that I was much too exhausted with all the planning, that I was afraid I was too tired for an actual date. (With him!)

Dr. Dolittle flaked that same night, so I accepted a date with Chief Wounded Ego. This man is very nice, really considerate, but very Vanilla. I mean, no sprinkles, no hot fudge sauce…nothing spicy. He talked about how his ex-wife ditched him without warning. It is a sad story, but it’s terrible to be on the receiving end of the ego-destruction. I need a man. Like a man-man. Not a half-hearted, broken man.  If you have been reading my blog, you know that I am taking it as my mission to help rebuild his ego.  However, I am not very single-focused and he will be my side-project. I like him and he is nice.

The final date of the weekend marathon was the flaming chocolate fondue. Kaboom. Dy-no-mite! Delish. Mr.Bubby Wubby is the quintessential tempting temptation for Miss Maribel Maeve: He is stocky and muscular (Yum), Gorgeous eyes, Smiles a lot and is smart and sexy. Also, he is (self-admittedly) cheap, drives an old beater and has no aspirations in life except to save money and at the same time become old. This type of a man baffles me because I don’t know why men think a woman would want to build her life on mediocrity. I don’t need the best of everything, but I would like to know that the man I am with has some kind of motivation. Women find men with ambition to be sexy. It’s genetics, I think. Hunt and gather. Not hunt and Nap. Gather, my man, GATHER.

Anyway, I am sure I will be utterly distracted from any possible meaningful future man because I will be drooling on Mr. Bubby Wubby or rescuing Chief Wounded Ego.

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This entry was posted in advice, Arrogance, Candy, choices, confessions, Dating, Dating Sites, Decisions, desserts, Friendship, Funny, girlfriends, girls, Humor, insight, laughter, Life, Love, Men, music, party, Psychology, Relationships, sex, sexuality, Single Mom, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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