I have left the Golden Oldies building.
It’s time to Rock-N-Bowl!
(What?! I don’t know…sometimes these things just come to me without explanation. Awkward, I know.)
I have ended my membership at the Golden Oldies (READ: NASTY OLD PERVS) site. Now I am back to middle aged pervs! So far I have four dates lined up for this weekend. It will be like man-bowling….line ’em up and knock ’em down. I know I swore off the online dating, but I can’t seem to find any other hobby that allows me to stay in bed in my cupcake jammies and still get lots of attention that I love. Have you ever considered that online dating is really the lazy person’s dream? I mean, the lazy person who is too busy to date.
I will give you a brief run-through of my Pin Pals. (Get it? Pins? *Snort laugh* I kill me!)
Bubby Wubby: Young guy who was given a nickname by his baby brother. he is cute but violates 2 of my dating site don’ts: pics with a pet and only posting pics in a casual, no-collar tee. (In my neck of the woods, this hints at redneck unless it is an underarmour type shirt.)
DrSporty: Mid 50’s ish, very charming. Already talking about his beach house, bikinis and massages. So we know this isn’t a friendly-intentioned invitation.
Mr. Phone Man: Ok this one is weird. 50 years old, just so happened he knows my entire family except me. Awkward, but sort of stuck with it now. Also, he is probably the cutest.
Cajunator: This one is left over from the gold digger site. He has lied from the beginning and recently told me he is married. (I have seen that movie! No thanks!) I told him I am not interested in affairs. He has asked to just meet me after we have been talking so long on the phone. I initially agreed, but now I am not sure that is a good idea. I have to tell y’all I think I was drugged by one of the men I went out with. In fact, I am pretty darn sure of it. This makes me cautious when agreeing to dates with known liars.