Jingle Balls..I mean, Bells.

It’s Christmas Eve, Y’all.  

It has me thinking about the past few weeks, which have been so fast-paced that I haven’t had time to write. I have met about 30 men (not in person!) who are wanting to be my patron. (I had to use that term because it makes me think of Great Expectations…who knows why.)



Anyway, I have the profiles of these men down so far:

“Mr. I. M. Really A’Niceguy” (aka Charmer Cons) This man comes on strong and charming. Always feigns ignorance to the “rules and protocol” of the website. He suggests he is looking for a real relationship and just stumbled upon the site by accident. In person, he becomes demanding, cold, aloof and really wants sex. He may be too refined to say it, but that’s really the deal. He also believes that his company is all that is needed as incentive. Reading between the lines: He doesn’t want to pay for it. He will buy dinner and drinks, but no cash or trinkets. This man is to be avoided at all costs.

“Mr. Sex Crazed” This man is upfront aboout wanting some form of unusual sex ranging from anal to bizarre domination or restraints. These men are at least prepared to give you the truth, so it makes them rank above Charmer Cons. Also, I avoid these men because I suspect that they want something more deviant and bizarre, but have “watered” it down to test my tolerance.

“Mr. Gim E Yourmeasurements (Body Pickers) This man asks endless questions about your boobies, ass, waist, sexual preferences, etc to the point that I forget what the question is. These men are so obsessed with their own body that they are afraid that someone else can never measure up. (Pun intended.) 

Since I forgot to join the hooker’s union, I am looking for none of these men. I am nobody’s whore and they will have to good-old-fashioned seduce me to get the goodies. This is unusual chat for Christmas eve but I guess looking at all that candy and those yummy cookies got me thinking about my two favorite treats: men and sex.

Happy Christmas, Y’all.

xoxox  Miss Maribel Maeve

This entry was posted in advice, Arrogance, Candy, choices, Christmas, confessions, Dating, Dating Sites, Decisions, Divorce, Ego, Escorts, feelings, Funny, girlfriends, girls, Holidays, Humor, insight, laughter, Life, Love, Men, music, Narcissism, Psychology, Regret, Relationships, revenge, Sarcasm, sex, sexuality, Single Mom, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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