Here is a small piece of advice from me to you: Never marry a man you don’t love and Never love a man you can’t marry. The former was my previous situation. Like an idiot I married a man I didn’t love. He is a true, clinical Narcissist. I didn’t realize at the time that he did not love me, either. Fast forward many years and I am looking for real, true love that makes your heart melt. Oh look….I found it, online, with a man who is married. We met and supposedly fell in love. I fell in love, but he fell in I don’t know what. Mr. Loves Being Loved is by any account a charmer of the rarest breed. He calls when he says he will call. He sends amazing gifts. His heart seems to be boundless and full of love. However, he becomes bored with me. Well, not just me, I would be willing to bet that he loses interest in any woman that isn’t running from him. Love is a strange thing and perhaps my perception is even more flawed. My Dad was a cold, removed-from-reality workaholic. My Mama sucks all of the air out of any room she enters. Mr. Loves Being Loved figured out a way to make me feel not invisible. This is always the key with me due to my invisible childhood. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a loud, raucous redhead that loves attention, so I am usually laughing and at the center of a crowd. Unfortunately between Mr. Ex Human Being and Mr. LBL, I am a mess. I have no social life, no friends and no energy to go forth and create a new life. I will go into detail of what I have been through later, but let’s just say that the Ex has created a scenario where my life isn’t my own anymore. And Mr. LBL is manipulating me wherever the latest mood leads him. Both of these things are my own fault. Yep, you heard me: I am nobody’s victim. I am in need of a complete overhaul of my ability to expect better. I need one of those Lifetime Movie Moments where the divorced lady meets a stranger who kidnaps her and ends up running away and she falls in love with the ice cream truck man whose Father owns an oil refinery. Okay, maybe that’s a little much to dream about, but damn, I need a new life. My Mama gave me terrific advice: “Just focus on your beautiful children.” Hell, woman, I love my kids, but they cannot be my entire existence (Think sex, lady. That is a rated R situation, for sure.) Anyway, after all the years of Mr. Ex I am exhausted. And I am so tired of Mr. LBL running hot and cold. This girl is ready for a REAL life, not just some pretense of a life. I need a man who is ready for relaxation in a rated R kinda way. That’s the ticket. I need a cinematic romance, with lots of really hot sex.